Insurance companies suck!!!!!

I'm sure that many of you will be able to relate to this topic.  I am so mad at our insurance company.  Why do we pay so much money each year only to find out it doesn't cover something?  My daughter was diagnosed as a child with mild Asperger's last week.  For those that don't know, it is on the autism spectrum.  I want to get her a second opinion and find a doctor who can help me get her the services that she needs.  I pulled up the child psychologists that are covered by our insurance and there hardly any of them but I did find one so we went last week.  
She didn't interact with my daughter and didn't look at any of the papers that I brought with me but told me that my daughter was just not "bright" and that it was all in my head.  I woud have been fine with this if she had at least spoken to my daughter and looked at her past evaluations.  I left the office royally pissed off and called some autism specialist to see how much thye cost and the appointments range from $1200 all the way up until $5500, and that is with insurance picking up part of it.  Well, I set up an appointment only to get a call today that they don't take our insurance and that it will cost $3000.
How can they not cover something like this?  I am so mad at insurance companies.  These are children that need help and if they don't get help when they are young then they aregoing to cost the insurance companies even more.  This just sucks!!!!

PS...I did end up setting an appointment with the Asperger Center in NY City and am going to pay out of pocket but I really sholdn't have to. 

Can you keep my baby girl in your prayers?

I just found out today that my daughter has a slightly enlarged kidney and that her bladder is not emptying like it should.  We go to see a nephrologist on Thursday but in the meantime, I am very nervous about this.  It has been going on for months and I feel horrible that I didn't do something about it sooner.  She was tested for a UTI in the beginning but nothing came of it and then we just decided to give it time but after 4-5 months we decided to do an ultrasound.   The ultrasound was on Friday and we got the results today.
Of course the first thing that runs through my mind is that she has lupus and it is affecting her kidneys.  This is probably not the case but I am worried sick about what could be causing this.  If everyone reading this could keep her in your prayers, I would really appreciate it.  Thanks.

Don't want to jinx myself but....

I'm kinda afraid to even say this out loud but I actually feel better now then I have in probably 2 years.  I have even started working out and was able to loose 2 pounds.  I'm so happy that things seem to be stabilizing for me and in turn it will mean stabilization for my family also.  I just worry that everytime I seem to make an improvement I get so excited and then I fall backwards...but I guess that is the nature of living with Lupus.

Happy Easter

I just want to wish everyone a Happy Easter today.  We are heading to church and then out to lunch in a bit but so far today has been a great day.   The kids already hunted for their eggs indoors and got to see what was in their baskets.  After church they will get to hunt for the 70 eggs that are hidden outside....Easter Bunny was a little bonkers with the number of eggs.

Happy Easter...may you all have a wonderful day.

What a great doc's apt!!!!

I went yesterday to the dermatologist to figure out what was going on with the blisters along my hairline along with my lovely hair loss and got the best news possible.  The blisters are actually oil deposits and have nothing to do with my lupus, just some type of reaction to something.  They will be easily fixed by medicine and then some removal in a month.  My hair loss is probably due to the lupus and nothing can be done about that but....she did give me some biotin to try which is supposed to help hair and nails and their growth cycle.
I don't think I have ever walked out of a doctor's with such good news...for once nothing is really major and has some easy fixes.  Granted, the hair loss is due to the lupus but at least I know that the blisters are not.  Yeah!!!!!

Please don't let me go bald!!

I have naturally thin hair to begin with but recently it has been getting even thinner and now I have blisters along my hair line and in my hair.  This could be really bad news for my poor hair.  When I was 22 I had a completely bald area in my scalp and then last summer my hair was so thin that I had to wear a wig and I am terriefied that it is going to happen again.  If it does then I will deal with it but I would much prefer to not have to worry about it, especially in the summer.
I know that out of all of the places the lupus could attack, my hair isn't that bad, but for me it is devastating.  I always find that when I do my hair and makeup, I feel better.   To be forced to worry about loosing my hair again really bothers me.  I guess it is time to make a phone call to the dermatologist to see what he says.

Mommy, come play with us!

My two children generally play together very nicely but every so often I hear the words..."Mommy, please come play with us"...to be honest usually I tell them that I will be there in a minute and then they go back to playing with each other and I forget.  I am often too tired to play with them and I am very fortunate that they have each other as it is like a built-in playdate.  Instead, I often take them to other playdates or to fun places like playgrounds, the mall, the movies, restaurants and that sort of thing.  It is much easier for me to take them somewhere then stay home so I do that more often. 
However, I worry that they are going to look back on their childhood and remember that mommy hardly ever played with them.  I don't mind playing games, building things and coloring but playing the imaginary games really tires me out.  It seems counter-intuitive but it is so much easier to take them out.  I really hope that they don't feel like they are missing out on mommy because I am just too tired to play at times.
I really want to be the best mommy that I can be but sometimes, like today, I feel like my best just isn't good enough.