Tuesday, October 4, 2011

I hate this disease.

I'm just going to vent for a few moments if you don't mind.  I know that I could be so much worse off and for that I am thankful but I am approaching the 10 year anniversary of my diagnosis and it has got me thinking of how Lupus has affected my life.  For the most part, I have not allowed it to affect my life but in some ways it has changed my life in ways that I can't control.  I hate that no matter what I do I have to remember that I will probably pay for the fun later.  I hate that my kids are scared that mommy may be sick and have to worry about it.  I hate that I can't run with the kids the way that I want.  I hate that I can't be the wife that I want.  I hate that I had such a blast but now am paying the price for it.  Sometimes I forget that I have this disease but it just won't ever let me forget as it always comes back to bite me is a$$.

1 comment:

  1. I so can relate with every word you wrote. I have been diagnosed with Systemic Lupus, RA amd Fibro since 12/2006. I feel this disease has taken my life away. I had BA from a great college and was working for a government agency, mariied with two kids. Never in a million years did I think at 32 I would be on retirement disability and praying to God I felt better so I could at least take care of my kids! It's a nightmare that I can't wake up from.