I am so sick and tired of having to "pay" for having a fun day with my family and friends. Yesterday we ended up taking the boat out to the beach and stayed longer then we planned because we were having so much fun. I was fully sunscreened and sitting under an umbrella so that the sun would not get to me. The kids played in the ocean and then in the bay and then in the sand. We all had a blast sitting around and relaxing and talking. Our family had planned on only staying for a few hours but then that turned into 6 hours but we were having so much fun and it was such a beautiful day that we decided to eat dinner at the beach and then head home.
Today, though, I am paying for it big time. This frustrates me so much because I just wish that I could have fun without worrying how I was going to feel the next day. I don't think I can get anything done around the house today or with the kids because I feel so lousy and I barely did anything. Sometimes having Lupus really sucks!
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Wow.. thats all I have .. I am speechless. I stumbled across you blog tonight- a night filled with pain and meds and still no sleep and I am laying here wide awake and now so very excited. I have read through all your blog entries and cannot believe that you wrote this.. I am certain these are all my words.. I have never met another person who "got it" or "said it" exactly the way I was thinking it.. You did that ! I too am a mother of two, 11 year old girl and 8 year old boy, married for 17 years and dealing with something.. * I believe it to be lupus* -the mommy guilt, the games that have been suited to bed rest, hospital visits, the children who blame themselves, the children that hate you for being no fun, the hubby who is great around the house and tries to be there but still doesn't get it 100 % no matter how great he is...the shortened days, the bedrest from hell, the paying for a good day with three bad days. I just want you to know.. I know I get it.. and I too feel exactly he same way...You said when you started this that you wanted to help others and that maybe just be writing a little bit each day your words would help.. I am here to say YES they do.. and Thank you.. Thank you for making me realize I am not strange or crazy, I am not a med seeking, lazy wife and mother..or that if I am there are others just like me.
ReplyDeleteI am currently on bed rest for pericarditis...and NOT liking it !
I am so glad I found you.... :)
Thank you so much for telling me this. I'm sorry that you are going through so much right now but just know that you are not alone and together we can fight it. I hope your pericarditis clears up quickly and that you feel better.
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