I'm a Mess

Since stopping all of my main Lupus medications, my body is revolting on me and I am seriously debating going back on the medications myself without doctor approval.  I know that is a really bad idea but will have to see what the doctor says when I go for a second opinion on Friday because I am getting into bad shape.  My hips, knees and ankles are all very sore, I have sores in my nose and random blisters popping up on my body which I NEVER had in the past.  I just don't get it.  My energy level is 0 and it is difficult for me to even consider taking a shower, never mind taking care of the kids.  I'm trying so hard to maintain a normal life but I just can't and I'm getting so frustrated by it right now.