Thursday, December 17, 2009

Seeing into the future...

I'm just wondering how people contend with constantly being thrown curveballs....for the about a decade my lupus was so quiet, allowing me to have my children, but now it is still going crazy.  Just when I think it is getting better and staying stable something else comes up.  How many times can I take my poor children to get bloodwork with me, especially with a daughter that is deathly afraid of needles?  Is this going to scar them?  Is this going to teach them compassion?  Is this going to make them numb to other people's illnesses? 

They know that mommy is sick and that is just a fact to them; this is the norm since they have never known anything different.  But when daddy is sick or injured it is something else altogether.  They feel so bad for him so I hope that means they will be compassionate and not indifferent to other people.  I wish that I could see into the future to know that my illness is going to make them stronger, more compasionate people rather than being indifferent about other people since they deal with it so much as children.

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